Whispers In The Dark.

It was a lie. All a lie. 

All those years. Wasted. Gone. Never to be seen again. 

All those memories. Frowned upon; cried over. Full of pain and suffering. 

Back and forth with emotions. Trying to get things straight. Failing. 

Hate. So much hate. Why do they hate him? I can't see it. 

Life goes on. But does it really? 

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Seems like every time I write about something, it's hardly ever happy. Just the opposite, in fact. All about love. All about pain and tears and heartbreak. Seems like that's the only emotions that give me motivation to type. 

It was easy the first time. Well, sorta. Just ending it and moving on, never expecting to see or hear from each other again. But we did. Maybe it was in the heat of the moment. Maybe I felt sorry for you and what you were going through. Promises of the future that I couldn't see. A happy ending. It was simple. Fun. 

But that never lasts, does it? 

As soon as more and more people and drama got involved, it all spiraled downhill. Or maybe that was just me. I don't know. Famous last words. I don't know. 

Maybe it was hate that got shoved down my throat. To see you in a different light than I did in the beginning. The constant bickering and speeches that warned me, that told me, to stay away. You are no good; an evil person that needs help. Every day. Constant. 

It's easy for someone to go insane from that. Despite trying to shut it out, despite trying to fight my way through that, in the end, it won. I was weak. Because I droll over people's opinions. I want to be the saint that everyone remembers, not the one who screwed up. Ironic how that always backfires. 

But how can you have a relationship with someone that everyone hates? Well, almost everyone. Just the ones who matter. The one who have a bigger impact on your life. Family and close friends. How can that work? With everyone's hate and narrowed eyes and whispers driving you to the brink of insanity. One person can only take so much. 

The relationships that I hear about. The ones full of drama and people judging others. It never works in the end. So how could this? I didn't see a bright future. I just saw one with me drowning in an endless darkness, with all these evil faces around me screaming at me to make the choices they wanted. Not mine. I had to obey. It was for the best, right? 

But would things really have changed once I moved? The voices would still follow me. The whispers and glares. It would still come. There's no escaping it. 

I may have been trying to keep you from slipping back into yourself. However, I did not lie when I spoke those words. Those three words. Because regardless if anyone believes it or not, that is stitched into my heart and there is no undoing it. 

So the numbness has returned. I feel blank, emotionless. Caring little about anything, but then again, I suppose I never did. 

But it's all for the best? Right? They won. They're happy now, satisfied. I did them good. 

I say I don't care enough. I say I don't love you as much as I used too. I say all of these things. Are they the truth? I have convinced you of that. Because they told me so. They told me to cut all ties and move on. Nothing but heartbreak can come from this. Well, they were right about that. 

There is not going back. Not unless I want too. 

And I do. I want so much to go back into the past, when everyone loved everyone. When there was no problems or drama or other people forcing their opinions and actions. There is nothing more in this world I would love to do. I would trade anything. I would do it all over again. And again. And again. If it meant going back to the beginning. 

Perhaps I don't even know what love is anything. Perhaps I lost that along the way. There was just some different form of it. Perhaps I may never know. I can't feel it. All I feel is pain. And memories. 

But enough of that. None of it matters anymore. No feelings or words can change my fate. I am destined to listen to the voices, to be stuck in the never-ending nightmare. To do their bidding. There is no light. Not anymore. 

Life goes on. But does it really?